Next week, Seth will be six months old! It’s amazing how time goes both fast and slow at the same time. Sometimes, I feel like I was just pregnant, but life without Seth also feels like a long time ago. I’ve already learned and experienced so much in six months of parenthood and I thought I would share some highlights.
Most things are temporary: If you’re going through a difficult stage or in the midst of a challenging moment, remember that it will pass. (If it doesn’t, you might need professional help, but then you’ll be well-supported.) It’s not always easy to remind yourself as you’re holding a screaming baby, but the tough stuff will not last. On the flip side, make sure you’re appreciating the good moments as they happen too.
You have to ask for and accept help: It can be humbling to ask for help, but I think it’s actually a sign of strength. Take advantage of your village and let people be there for you however you need them. Whether it’s cooking freezer meals or sending a food delivery gift card, letting you vent for ten minutes, or coming over and holding the baby so you can shower. Trust your people to help you take care of your kid, and yourself.
You really do know best: One of my biggest fears was not knowing how to take care of my baby. I was skeptical of “following my intuition,” but you know what? It’s actually true. Somewhere in our biology, we’re wired to know what our child needs (or at least take an educated guess). If you think something’s not right, trust yourself. Be confident in your parenting decisions, even if people disagree. No matter how many books you read or how much great advice you get, don’t ignore your gut.
You will be tired, even if they’re a great sleeper: We are very lucky that Seth has slept through the night for quite a while (knocking on wood and crossing our fingers that continues). But, we’re still tired. Being responsible for another living being is a lot of work! Your body will ache, and you’ll be emotionally exhausted. Chances are you will probably stay up later than you should because you want some time for yourself and/or you and your partner. It’s okay, you’ll learn to subsist on less sleep.
Every baby is (actually) different: I heard this so many times while I was pregnant, and it really is true. Even though they can’t really communicate and they’re more like potatoes for the first few months, babies are just tiny people. Just like grownup people, they have their own personalities. It’s subtle at first, but slowly they come into their own. Your experience may be similar to someone else’s, but it won’t be the same. An important reminder when you’re tempted to compare.
Parenthood (if you’re lucky) is a partnership: But, that doesn’t mean it’s always an equal partnership. It may depend on the day, or change from season to season. But, as long as you’re on the same team, you’ll get through it. Rob has a very demanding job. He does his best to be present and helpful, but there are often times when I’m taking on more of the household to-dos and care of Seth. Remembering that it’s not a competition and what matters most is Seth’s welfare really helps. That doesn’t mean it can’t be frustrating, but I know that Rob supports me no matter what.
You’re still a good parent if you look forward to getting a break: I love spending weekends with Seth. But, I’m also perfectly happy to drop him off at daycare on Monday morning. Not only do I know they will take great care of him, I also know that it’s good for me for him to be there. As an introvert, I need my alone time to recharge. I rarely have that anymore, so I take what I can get. It doesn’t mean I love Seth any less. I still miss him when he’s gone. But, it’s good for all of us for him to be there. Make space for all of your feelings.
Take pictures as soon as you put a cute outfit on them: This one is a little silly, but babies are messy. If you want to capture how cute they look in something, do it fast. They will inevitably drool, poop, or spill food on what they’re wearing, so don’t miss your opportunity.
The smiles make everything worth it: I have never been a morning person, but every day, I look forward to waking Seth up. As soon as he opens his eyes and sees me, the biggest smile spreads across his face. It makes my heart feel like it’s overflowing, and I will do anything to make him smile again throughout the day.
I wasn’t sure that I wanted to be a mom. I had a lot of fears, and frankly, they were justified. It’s really hard, but it’s also incredibly rewarding. Life will never be the same, and in some ways that’s sad. But, it’s totally worth it!
