It’s been a little more than a week since Seth turned one. I put together an Instagram reel with photos and videos and a short caption. But, for some reason, I’ve had a hard time sitting down to write this blog post about one year of parenthood. I wrote a post six months in, and another at nine months. But, a year feels different. It’s crazy to think how much has changed, and I think it really hit me. On June 14, I kept thinking about how I GAVE BIRTH on the same day last year. It’s so hard to believe that the tiny newborn that we brought home from the hospital is the same as the fantastically chunky toddler we have today. Every day, every week, every month, he’s different. He has learned, grown and developed so much in this first year. It’s truly amazing to watch.
What I’ve Learned
So, what have I learned in the first year of parenthood? Being a parent is hard. It’s all-consuming, exhausting, and anxiety-inducing. But, it’s also incredibly fulfilling, beautiful, and life-affirming at the same time. There are constantly things to worry about. Each stage brings new challenges. But, you get through it. Unless something is really wrong, you will figure it out, and it will be okay. If it’s not, you ask for help from professionals. There is so much I didn’t truly understand about being a parent until I was one. I have such a greater appreciation for my parents, relatives and friends with kids.
One of those things is the magnitude of the love a parent has for a child. The amount I love Seth is unquantifiable. When he smiles or giggles, my heart fills up. And, I will do anything to make him happy. When he doesn’t feel well or is in pain, my heart breaks. And, I will do anything to keep him healthy and safe.
I’ve also learned a lot about myself. I have great instincts, and I know my son. I’m a pretty great mom, and while I’m certainly not perfect, it’s come easier to me than I thought it would. I’m stronger than I realized, and I can do a lot of things I thought I couldn’t. My anxiety as a mom is ever-present. But, instead of overwhelming me as I feared it would, I can generally keep it in the back of my mind. Medication and therapy certainly help, but I will still take it.
It’s so important to prioritize your mental health as a parent. No matter how big your “village” is, it can still be pretty lonely. Especially in the early days when you’re consumed by all of the new things and the steep learning curve. Even later, there will be times when you will miss the ease and spontaneity of your pre-kid life. You’ll be sitting at home when your kid’s asleep and you’ll miss them…but you’ll also miss the freedom. Some of your friendships will change. You’ll see less of people, and plans will take more effort.
For me, the loneliness has come in waves. Several of our closest friends moved away in the last year, and that didn’t help. I’m figuring out who I am as a mom and a person. It’s something I plan to share more about. But, needless to say, I’ve had some periods of time when I was really struggling. Deciding to leave my job was scary, but I can already tell that it was the right thing for me.
Seth Update
If you’ve made it through that brain dump of reflections, you deserve a Seth update! Our one year old is crawling all over the place. He likes to stand, and has practiced walking with his hands being held. He loves to eat, and is constantly expanding his palette. Feeding was really stressful for us, especially when we started solids. But, as he got older, something clicked, and now it’s much more enjoyable for all of us. I’ve made a bunch of recipes from this website and he loves them all. He has a bunch of teeth now too, and that helps with chewing. Although, biting things other than food (including people) has been an issue.
Seth is babbling a lot. He says “mama” and “dada,” and sometimes, (we think) it’s intentional. He is obsessed with Bones…and Bones is still getting used to Seth being more mobile and following him around the apartment. Seth loves playing with toys, especially when he can knock things over or hit something with something else. He enjoys lift the flap books and peekaboo, clapping and music. His smile and his laugh are still the best things ever.
I’m sure there’s more I could share, but this is all for now. Thank you SO much for following along with this chapter of my life!
