I am enough. This is a mantra I have been regularly repeating to myself for longer than I can remember. And it’s not just those three words alone…it’s “I am __ enough,” with so many options to fill in…good enough, smart enough, deserving enough. I’m reading Matt Haig’s “The Comfort Book” (which I highly recommend), and he has a whole list of these. The filled-in blanks are in italics, and he finishes the list with the advice that we should just delete the italics, and leave it at: I am enough.
This has been an especially important reminder since I left my full-time job and my days look different. At the end of each day, I look back at what I did. Did I do enough? Was I productive enough? Did I spend enough time with Seth? I brought up this struggle with my therapist recently, and she said, “Who decides what is enough?” Sure, “society” has plenty of ideas of how to quantify it, but why not take ownership over what is “enough” in our own lives? She encouraged me to reframe how I reflect on my days. What did I feel good about doing today, what felt good, and what was meaningful? Coming at it from a place of reflection and not judgement totally changes the tone, and I’m trying to do that as much as I can.
And then of course there’s: am I cool enough to be an influencer? I’m an awkward introvert, which sometimes holds me back. But, I’m really trying to put myself out there and at least fake it until I make it. I’m really proud of the brand partnership work I’ve done this year, and I’m so grateful to these brands for giving me a chance. Thanks to you too for being here and supporting me!
The biggest adjustment is trying to figure out who I am at this stage of my life. It’s not surprising that I’m struggling with my self-worth. Becoming a parent changes your life forever. It changes you. Your life is not just about you, or you and your partner. You have different priorities. It’s a lot harder to make time for yourself, your partner, your family, and your friends. And, it’s easy to lose sight of who you are, beyond parenthood. Being responsible for a tiny human means your decisions carry more weight, and that’s a lot.
This post is kind of a brain dump, but I felt like it was important to share what I’ve been going through. As with everything I share, I hope that this reaches someone who needs it. The past few years have been incredibly intense, and everyone has struggled at one point or another. We’re doing the best we can. I am enough, and you are too.
